[thelist] site check - deltatraffic.co.uk

[M. Seyon]

Message from alex beston (11/3/2004 12:42 PM)
>Hi All
>I was wondering if someone / people could have a look at  / appraise the 
>front page of deltatraffic.co.uk for the text - is it any good?

Is it what you do? Can you do what it says? If the answer to either is "no" 
then no it's not any good.

If the answer is "yes" to both, then do a better job convincing me. Vague 
generic and overall very weak copy, littered with typos and clumsy grammar 
don't suggest to me that you know how to do these things. They suggest that 
you've seen or heard them mentioned elsewhere and thought they sounded 
important.

You can help me "Gain Targeted Traffic", "Extend my customer base" and 
"Sell products or improve your sales"? Supposedly so can every other web 
developer, not to mention a boatload of other non-web development 
professionals. Prove it. Whose customer base did you extend, and what 
company's sales did you boost? How did you help someone gain targeted traffic?

Moving along, consistency is VERY VERY important in writing. It implies a 
mind that is focused and pays attention to detail.

Why, in the first three bullets, is the first one capitalised according to 
word case and the other two according to sentence case?

Worse yet, why is it "deltaTraffic" the first four times and "deltatraffic" 
the fifth and sixth times? If you can't even get a consistent brand for 
your own company name why should I think you can do it for me?

"try our web design quote builder - it may turn out to be less than you 
think!" Yeah? Suppose it's not? You've just set expectations and gotten 
hopes up and then you've dashed them. Think I'll ever trust you again?

regards.
-marc

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