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<DIV><SPAN class=109035614-14032001><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2><FONT
face="Times New Roman" color=#000000 size=3>T</FONT></FONT></SPAN>he European
Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official
language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part
of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had
some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be
known as "Euro-English".<BR><BR>In the first year, "s" will replace the soft
"c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c"
will be dropped in favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and
keyboards kan have 1 less letter.<BR><BR>There will be growing publik enthusiasm
in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This
will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.<BR><BR>In the 3rd year, publik
akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of
double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al
wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful,
and they should go away.<BR><BR>By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to
steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze
unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of
kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.<BR><BR>After zis fifz yer, ve vil
hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun
vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve
vil tak over ze world! <SPAN class=109035614-14032001><FONT face=Arial
color=#0000ff size=2> </FONT></SPAN></DIV>
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