[thechat] spam of the week

[Martin Burns]

I particularly like:
>1. 8-inch by 10-inch certificate IN COLOR, WITH GOLD SEAL.
>(CERTIFICATE IS PROFESSIONALLY PRINTED BY AN INK PRESS)
...which is a sure-fire guarantee that you're a *real* minister

and

>2. Proof of Minister Certification in YOUR NAME!!
because all those other seminaries insist that it's in SOMEONE
ELSE'S - I mean - look at the Pope. They couldn't spell Karol
Wojtyla, so just wrote 'John Paul' on the certificate. Amateurs.

Cheers
Martin



---------------- Begin Forwarded Message ----------------
Date:        6/9/01 11:20 am
Received:    6/9/01 12:05 pm
From:        tess at private.21cn.com	
To:          173 at artic.net

Minister Charles Simpson has the power to make you a LEGALLY ORDAINED 
MINISTER within 48 hours!!!!                             s22      

BE ORDAINED NOW!

As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies 
of the church!!

WEDDINGS
MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!!
Don't settle for being the BEST MAN OR BRIDES' MAID
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) 
with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.

FUNERALS
A very hard time for you and your family
Don't settle for a minister you don't know!!
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) 
with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.

BAPTISMS
You can say "WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!"
What a special way to welcome a child of God.

FORGIVENESS OF SINS
The Catholic Church has practiced the forgiveness of sins for centuries
**Forgiveness of Sins is granted to all who ask in sincerity and 
willingness to change for the better!!

VISIT CORRECTIONAL FACILITIES
Since you will be a Certified Minister, you can visit others in need!!
Preach the Word of God to those who have strayed from the flock

WANT TO START YOUR OWN CHURCH??
After your LEGAL ORDINATION, you may start your own congregation!!


At this point you must be wondering how much the Certificate costs.  
Right?  Well, let's talk about how much the program is worth.  
Considering the value of becoming a CERTIFIED MINISTER I'd say the 
program is easily worth $100.  Wouldn't you agree?  However, it won't 
cost that much.  Not even close!  My goal is to make this life changing 
program affordable so average folks can benefit from the power of it.
            
Since I know how much you want to help others, you're going to receive 
your Minister Certification for under $100.00... Not even $50.00...  You 
are going to receive the entire life-changing course for only $29.95.  

For only $29.95 you will receive:
1. 8-inch by 10-inch certificate IN COLOR, WITH GOLD SEAL.
(CERTIFICATE IS PROFESSIONALLY PRINTED BY AN INK PRESS)
2. Proof of Minister Certification in YOUR NAME!!
3. SHIPPING IS FREE!!!


***********************************************************************



----------------- End Forwarded Message -----------------

_______________________________________________
email: martin at easyweb.co.uk             PGP ID: 0xA835CCCB
       martin at members.evolt.org      snailmail: 30 Shandon Place
  tel: +44 (0)774 063 9985                      Edinburgh,
  url: http://www.easyweb.co.uk                 Scotland