[thechat] Economics

[Olly Hodgson]

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened by your brotherin-law at the
bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so
that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The
milk
rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman
Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the
rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual
report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you
with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public
buys your bull.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are onetenth the size of
an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create
clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them WorldWide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and
learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle
of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
journalist who reported the numbers.

A WELSH CORPORATION
You have two cows. That one on the left is rather cute.