[thechat] marital crisis update.

Tara Cleveland tara at taracleveland.com
Tue Jul 9 10:13:00 CDT 2002


A few years ago my husband was in a terrible job. He was paid very little,
and asked to do the impossible on a daily basis.  And to top it all off, he
wasn't at all proud or pleased with the work when it was finished. He also
worked *extremely* long hours.

One night, when he came home from work at 5am for the third time in a row, I
threatened to leave him unless he quit his job. It wasn't an empty threat.
It wasn't the long hours. It was because he was miserable. All. the. time.
His job was ruining his life, and consequently mine. He would come home
stressed and pick fights every night. He didn't have the time or the
emotional energy to spend quality time with me. Our relationship was falling
apart. And after a year of this, and him complaining about how much he hated
his job, I figured I had to put a fire under his feet to get him to quit.

So he quit. He found a great job where he was happy, proud of his work and
well paid. And best of all he got paid overtime! A year later we got
engaged, and now we are married.

Sometimes it's not about how many hours you spend at work, it's about how
that work affects your life. I wouldn't have thought about leaving Dave if
he just worked long hours, it was because he was miserable all the time that
I couldn't think of staying. I'm also very glad that I gave him the chance
to fix the problem instead of just leaving him. Now he thanks me for giving
him the ultimatum.

<tip type="keeping your bedmate happy and sane" author="Tara Cleveland">
Call home if you are going to be at work until all hours of the morning and
you are unreachable by phone at your workplace. It's better to be woken up
with a friendly voice on the phone then to wake up at 5am and tear through
an empty house looking for a loved one and then staying awake hoping that
they aren't in the emergency room until they finally arrive at home tired
but (thankfully) unhurt.
</tip>

Regards,
Tara
--
Tara Cleveland
Web Design and Consulting
http://www.taracleveland.com




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