[thechat] punishment (was: [ugh])

[Erika Meyer]

Influenced by a local scholar/counselor/teacher who did classes
called "parenting without punishment" I decided to try to raise my
daughter without punishment.  ANY punishment.

Absolutely no corporal punishment, no time outs, no grounding, none of it.

It isn't always easy.  I was raised with plenty of spankings and some
emotional abuse so I'm having to make a deliberate and conscious
change.  I want my daughter to be empowered, not intimidated like I
was.

When my daughter acts up or out, its usually in response to a problem
in her environment.  So while I ask her to modify her behavior, and I
also make it easy by working on the underlying distress.  (Lack of
positive attention is a big factor with kids.)

Well... when she graduated from kindergarten last month, she received
the award for best citizenship.

And FWIW the biggest troublemaker in the class gets punished by his
mother constantly.

I am a single parent.  The "stats" run against me.

Truly, this is where to begin.  Children.  Parenting.  Families.

By the time people are adults, it's so much harder to deal with this.

Our society doesn't pay attention until it's too late.  The abused or
neglected child grows into the criminal (or self-destructive) adult.
This aids oppressive governments, because they can keep us all living
in fear of crime.  Fear is a primary tool for oppressors.

It's a circle.

I just can't figure out why people don't question these things
(things like the use of punishment) more often.

Erika
--