[thechat] marital crisis update.

[Luther, Ron]

Hi Jeff,


I think you made some pretty good points.

But I think your disagreement to this one is something I have to call you
on:

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><
> I mean there's not even a reason why it's necessarily
> the fault of the people in the relationship...
><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Because there are times when external factors can put enough stress on a
relationship to break it apart.

Two examples:

(1) One of the parties gets laid off from work.  That's a strain that may be caused by an 'uncontrollable' factor like corporate downsizing.  Now, whether the
 relationship had problems to begin with or whether this 'caused' problems may be
 debateable.  But it can certainly be that "last straw".

(2) One of the parties has a job where the hours/schedule/shifts fluctuate wildly.
 I think the most common example I've seen cited is the divorce rate for police
 officers.


Not to put a damper on the concept of 'taking responsibility' - just pointing
out that that relationships don't take place in a vacuum.  Therefore, 'external'
items can be a factor in their success or failure.


RonL.

(Yeah - I know - I replied from the machine that isn't 'carriage return'
friendly.)