[thechat] The Wifely Duty

[Erika Meyer]

My mom tried to give me some parenting advice like this: "Dr. Phil says..."
I just asked her if she was insane.

As for this article, I say it's one of the many reasons one may wish
to avoid marriage.  'Cause I don't know about anyone else but if I'm
not getting any, I'm not going to be too interested in staying
married.

Everyone I know who married... and later divorced... tells me that
things would have been far better if they'd never married.
(Disclaimer: I'm told that marriage does work out well for some.)

I think that in the modern world, it helps for creative people to try
and break out of society's pre-defined pre-20th century roles.  It's
tough to be a pioneer, but someone's gotta do it...

Ladies, consider this set-up: You keep one man for co-parenting, one
for companionship, and one for sex.  (Men can be exchanged for women
in these roles if one is so inclined...)

They don't live in your house, you just schedule meetings when
mutually convenient.   It requires some coordination, and financially
can be difficult (if your co-parent isn't paying child support), but
there's not all that obligation and emotional entanglement that comes
from full-on monogamous-style marriage where two people are supposed
to be EVERYTHING to each other.

Also, I think the "one partner per role" model is less confusing than
the whole wife/mistress thing (or the equivalent) or multiple wives,
etc, where roles overlap, creating a breeding ground for jealousy
and/or competitive issues.

I suppose you could have more than one individual filling some of
these roles, but I like to keep things simple. And I suggest only
visiting with one partner at a time (so each can have your full
attention and vice versa).  And I suggest keeping the roles as
defined as possible so you're not stringing anyone along.

I don't know how long this works for but it would seem like one
person could opt out of any role at any time and it would be a lot
less traumatic than loosing a marriage-style partner.  And the thing
is, you get to keep company with not one but SEVERAL beautiful
people, each with different personalities, and different skill-sets.

You offer them the same that they offer to you: companionship and
company to your friend, sex to your lover, and co-parenting to the
co-parent. + whatever your additional skill-sets are.

It's simple distribution of labor.

Erika

>http://www.theatlantic.com/issues/2003/01/flanagan.htm
>
>From the "Crikey!" department:
>
><quote>
>
>Marriage used to provide access to sex. Now it provides access to celibacy.
>
></quote>
>
>(Disclaimer: This article quotes Dr. "Oprah made me famous" Phil. To some
>people, that's reason enough to ignore the article.)
>
>Madhu
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