[thelist] site review: http://spinhead.com/new

[John Handelaar]

% -----Original Message-----
% From: thelist-admin at lists.evolt.org
% [mailto:thelist-admin at lists.evolt.org]On Behalf Of Joel Canfield
% Sent: 19 August 2002 15:20
% To: 'thelist at lists.evolt.org'
% Subject: RE: [thelist] site review: http://spinhead.com/new
%
% > Wouldn't this bit:
% > "Whether you're going to engage in e-commerce,
% > you want to provide improved customer service,
% > or you're in an industry ..."
% >
% > sound better like this :
% > "Whether you're going to engage in e-commerce,
% > want to provide improved customer service,
% > or are in an industry... "
%
% Right. Point taken. More concise.

...and IMHO less effective.  Sometimes there's a good
case to be made for your original, which has something
repeated exactly three times - a known-to-be-effective
writing trick.

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John Handelaar

T +44 20 8933 1494       M +44 7930 681789
F +44 870 169 7657   E john at userfrenzy.com
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