[thechat] House Hunting Blues

Luther, Ron Ron.Luther at compaq.com
Thu Aug 2 13:01:43 CDT 2001

My 'bride-to-be' and I have been doing the house hunting thing for the past
few weeks.  (Seems more like years to me - but I've been assured it's only
been weeks.)

With apologies to Suess - we've seen red houses, blue houses, dead houses
and new houses.  [I'd call a trashed out foreclosure a 'dead house',
wouldn't you?  Unless of course, you're the 'handy type' - then you might be
tempted to call it something truely ugly - like - "an opportunity"!  I find
screwdrivers to be dangerously unwieldly devices having far too many moving
parts for their own good, or mine - so for me it's 'dead' then. Right.]

We've 'come close' on a couple of them.  How do you 'come close' on a house?
Maybe by walking through, agreeing that everything is wonderful - the
location, quality, room sizes, layout - and then hearing a noise ... a noise
you eventually determine is the current owner's fax machine printing out an
offer - an offer for $5K more than their asking price!  Maybe by having a
house come on the market on Saturday, start a buyer bidding frenzy on
Sunday, sign a contract on Monday, and you see it on Tuesday.  *#%^!

But I just had to share what we ran into last night!  Saw a really really
nice house. Brand new.   Good Builder.   Nice neighborhood.   Nice location
within the neighborhood - on a small cul-de-sac directly across the street
from a small park with playground equipment and tennis courts.  And since
there will only be the two of us, the large gameroom, den, formals, four or
five bedrooms, and the three and a quarter car detached garage should be big
enough - if we economize a bit.      ;-)

Anyway, there are two problems with said house.   As you might guess, it IS
a little pricey ... and that's always a concern - but I don't think that's
my primary concern this time.

Nope - this time I'm think I'm more concerned about the name of the street
the house is on.  No - I'm not kidding.  Seriously, it's a street name that
just lends itself faaaar too easily to waaaay too much abuse.  It's a street
name that would get your kids sent to the principal's office at school.
It's a street name that would get you snickered at and ridiculed in public.
It's a street name that could get you punched in the nose!

Yup - this house is on 'Buckhead Ct.'

The civic planners down here evidently have far too much access to 'X!

What the hell kind of name is that?  

"Where do you live, sonny?"  "123 ... BUCKHEAD! ... where do you live?"
<pow.  smack.>
Say it four times fast and get your mouth washed out with soap.  

"I wasn't swearing at Billy, Mom - I was just telling him where we lived."  

Finally a street name I don't have to spell - and I'd have to spell it

I've been calling it "the Buckethead house" - better to be named after a
speed metal band than after something carved in the wooden desk tops from
your old high school!

Not to mention the temptation for giving out fraudulent directions:  "How do
you get here?  No problem!  Go east on 'N' Trails.  Round the circle at
Uranus.  Turn Right and you're there ... Buckhead.   Oh, and if you hit
Poontang Blvd - you've gone too far."

I dunno ... I just don't think I can do it ...

A somewhat discouraged RonL.

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