[thechat] House Hunting Blues

spinhead evolt at spinhead.com
Thu Aug 2 13:41:38 CDT 2001

[insert sputtering sounds of laughter]

read the whole post before i realized it was you. you're in texas right?

could you move the house? could you petition to have the street renamed (if
it's a small town)?

you're not hallucinating. it is a Bad Thing.

visit the neighbors. find out how they've dealt with it. either they have a
real sense of humor, and could offer some snappy comebacks for future
reference, or you'll get that blank 'texan trying to understand a
californian' look which tells you that they never even realized it was

which is it. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay funny. [i live on connecticut
street; moved here from holly, after living on georgia; no jokes, but i have
to spell kennycutt for every living soul who ever hears it. only street name
i had to deal with in texas was 'main.' little humor potential there.]

joel at spinhead

----- Original Message -----
From: "Luther, Ron" <Ron.Luther at compaq.com>
To: <thechat at lists.evolt.org>
Sent: Thursday, August 02, 2001 11:03 AM
Subject: [thechat] House Hunting Blues

> My 'bride-to-be' and I have been doing the house hunting thing for the
> few weeks.  (Seems more like years to me - but I've been assured it's only
> been weeks.)
> With apologies to Suess - we've seen red houses, blue houses, dead houses
> and new houses.  [I'd call a trashed out foreclosure a 'dead house',
> wouldn't you?  Unless of course, you're the 'handy type' - then you might
> tempted to call it something truely ugly - like - "an opportunity"!  I
> screwdrivers to be dangerously unwieldly devices having far too many
> parts for their own good, or mine - so for me it's 'dead' then. Right.]
> We've 'come close' on a couple of them.  How do you 'come close' on a
> Maybe by walking through, agreeing that everything is wonderful - the
> location, quality, room sizes, layout - and then hearing a noise ... a
> you eventually determine is the current owner's fax machine printing out
> offer - an offer for $5K more than their asking price!  Maybe by having a
> house come on the market on Saturday, start a buyer bidding frenzy on
> Sunday, sign a contract on Monday, and you see it on Tuesday.  *#%^!
> But I just had to share what we ran into last night!  Saw a really really
> nice house. Brand new.   Good Builder.   Nice neighborhood.   Nice
> within the neighborhood - on a small cul-de-sac directly across the street
> from a small park with playground equipment and tennis courts.  And since
> there will only be the two of us, the large gameroom, den, formals, four
> five bedrooms, and the three and a quarter car detached garage should be
> enough - if we economize a bit.      ;-)
> Anyway, there are two problems with said house.   As you might guess, it
> a little pricey ... and that's always a concern - but I don't think that's
> my primary concern this time.
> Nope - this time I'm think I'm more concerned about the name of the street
> the house is on.  No - I'm not kidding.  Seriously, it's a street name
> just lends itself faaaar too easily to waaaay too much abuse.  It's a
> name that would get your kids sent to the principal's office at school.
> It's a street name that would get you snickered at and ridiculed in
> It's a street name that could get you punched in the nose!
> Yup - this house is on 'Buckhead Ct.'
> The civic planners down here evidently have far too much access to 'X!
> What the hell kind of name is that?
> "Where do you live, sonny?"  "123 ... BUCKHEAD! ... where do you live?"
> <pow.  smack.>
> Say it four times fast and get your mouth washed out with soap.
> "I wasn't swearing at Billy, Mom - I was just telling him where we lived."
> Finally a street name I don't have to spell - and I'd have to spell it
> anyway.
> I've been calling it "the Buckethead house" - better to be named after a
> speed metal band than after something carved in the wooden desk tops from
> your old high school!
> Not to mention the temptation for giving out fraudulent directions:  "How
> you get here?  No problem!  Go east on 'N' Trails.  Round the circle at
> Uranus.  Turn Right and you're there ... Buckhead.   Oh, and if you hit
> Poontang Blvd - you've gone too far."
> I dunno ... I just don't think I can do it ...
> A somewhat discouraged RonL.
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