[thechat] Big stupid plea.

Sean ethanol at mathlab.sunysb.edu
Wed May 8 11:04:00 CDT 2002


Joe,

First of all, hang in there, buddy.  We've all been there one way or
another.  <bad Clinton impersonation />We feel you pain.

Second, the only relationship advice I'll give is, tell her how you
feel.  Of all possible outcomes, it doesn't get much worse than, she's
gone and you realize you never just came out and asked her to stay.

Third, I recommend "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.
<http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1881273156/evoltorg/>
He writes about the different ways people show affection and the ways
people receive affection.  The basic premise is, e.g., if you've been
showing your love by being a workaholic (I crave workahol?) and
provider, but her 'love language' is quality time, that's gonna be a
problem.

The book has methods of determining your primary love language, and tips
to help focus your affection on your partner's primary love language.
There's a little but of religion in the book (he often uses Jesus as the
example of different love languages), but that's not central to the
message if you're not a big Jesus fan.

HTH,


Sean G.




-----Original Message-----
Very much a change of pace for this list. Interpersonal angst and
unhappiness. Soliciting advice. I'm not sure what I expect, if anything.

I'm not sure how f---ed up it is that I'm asking this list about this,
but online is where I fell in love with Jennifer, and online will be one
of the places I seek input and advice dammit. I don't care if it's dirty
laundry.




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