[thechat] Re: Big stupid plea.

rudy rudy937 at rogers.com
Wed May 8 16:32:08 CDT 2002


joe, i wish we could have a beer right now

(actually, i *am* having a beer right now -- it just turned 5 pm here and
it's my first one, eh -- so if you're at home, crack a cold one with me,
okay?)

you got a lot of good advice, andy's in particular ("Ask to meet in a public
place, and calmly tell her exactly what you've told us. No raised voices, no
tears. Then make your excuses, leave and give her space." -- although i
would wait at least a fortnight before doing this, during which time you
should not feel the need to call her, unless you guys are still, like,
talking...  i mean, like, daily)

dude, i am the last guy you want to take relationship advice from -- a total
of four live-in relationships, 7 years, 3 years, 3 years, and 9 years (in
each case she left me, and lemme tellya, after 4 tries, i'm startin ta
wonder if there really is something wrong with me...)

so i will offer no advice on what to do, but rather suggest what you should
feel

you should be feeling like crap

and you should not try to avoid it

and you should go ahead and let it tear you up, because tear you up it will

it's small comfort to you now, but remember that what doesn't kill you,
makes you stronger


oh, and erika?  you're trolling

some of your comments are egregiously sexist --

       ah, how you poor men struggle to understand us.  Men make
       this huge mistake of thinking all women are the same.  They find
       something that works for one and try to apply it to the next... alas.

       I do feel for you men.  Men get programmed one way (work,
       make a living, be strong, career advancement, etc) and they think
       that the rest will follow.  But then their woman isn't happy and
their
       wondering what's going on?

as i said, that's trolling, and i ain't biting

on the other hand, a lot of what you said is excellent advice

maybe your bitterness is because you just haven't hooked up with the right
guy yet (for example, i absolutely love housework and looking after kids
[which partly explains why i still don't have a job] -- do you think maybe
all my exes felt threatened by this?)


anyhow, joe, give it some time, a good amount of time -- you have to get
past the "oops maybe i made a mistake" rebound reaction that jenny is bound
to have

wait until you both can talk about it rationally

it's also important that the meeting be on neutral ground


wishing you strength


rudy




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