[thechat] Re: Big stupid plea.

Joe Crawford jcrawford at avencom.com
Wed May 8 17:12:00 CDT 2002


I'm at work, lunching on my Nong Shim Bowl Noodle, and holding back tears.

The reaction better and much broader than I anticipated. I thank you all
for your good thoughts. I'll be printing and reading and re-reading
these along with the books I bought on Sunday - "Fighting for Your
Marriage" and "Infidelity" (which is about understanding what leads to
infidelity).

For me, at least understanding what's happened and is happening is
important.

Know that I'm digesting all you have shared with me -- (rudy, If I had a
beer I'd gladly drink with you now, though you know I'm not a big fan of
mind-alteration -- sometimes you gotta do it.

One main point, and the point everyone I talk to says, is thank goodness
there are no children in the mix (this makes some but not all of Erika's
comments not apply). We always thought caution was best in that area --
I always wanted her to get through school and get some experience under
her belt before we did that - I also wanted to be more settled in career
as well.

Kristy, your message that begins "I was Jenny" scares me shitless. I
fear you are right, but hope you are wrong. We have been so successful
though, at bobbing and weaving - from my change of career, to moving to
San Diego for her school - and we used to go pretty nuts - sowing oats
and having fun - but we've lost that energy. That propensity of me to
stick-in-the-mud is a bad one - especially when Jenny seeks adventure
and excitement.

I have more to say, but know that I'm soaking it in, and the words of
sympathy really help. I'm so on edge, and it's so scary to feel so lost.
Knowing that others have been down this dark path makes me feel better.

In additional news, I've accepted my sister's invitation to visit her in
D.C. - bought a cheap RT fare this am. I haven't seen my sister in about
2 years - and that stinks. So I'll go to DC at the end of the month.

This has the benefit of me not wanting to go do stupid stuff. Which it's
even clearer to me that that stuff is a very risky move.

I'll be exploring therapists, both marital and standard therapists
tonight online. An objective voice to talk with interactively will be
good - I know for me it will be. I hope that I can find a good marital
counselor. And I also hope that I can invite Jenny to take part in
counseling in a way that she will accept it.

I could write all day I think, but I should try and get some work done.
Getting fired would certainly not behoove me right now.

Peace and Love to you all, I'll probably write more tonight or tomorrow
morning.

	Joe








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