[thechat] War on terror not yet over

Martin martin at members.evolt.org
Thu May 9 11:07:00 CDT 2002


A timely press release...

CORUSCANT -- Presiding over a memorial service commemorating the victims
of the attack on the Death Star, the Emperor declared that while recent
victories over the Rebel Alliance were "encouraging, the War on Terror
is not over yet."

"We will continue to fight these terrorists, and the rogue governments
who harbor them, until the universe is safe, once and for all, and the
security of the Neo-New Cosmik Order ensured."
It was one year ago today that the Death Star, perhaps the greatest
symbol of the Empire's might, was destroyed in an attack by fanatic
Rebels, who used small, single-person crafts to infiltrate seemingly
impenetrable defenses. Thousands of mourners were on hand to remember
and pay tribute to the victims and their families.

"We lost our innocence that day," reflected one mourner. "I guess we
thought we were immune from the kind of violence that happens in other
galaxies. We were wrong."

"I lost hundreds of buddies that day," said one teary-eyed Stormtrooper.
"Guys whose only crime was trying make the Universe a safer place."

Although the day was colored by sadness, the mourners found some relief
in the news of a decisive victory over the Rebels.
In an attack led by Darth Vader, Empire forces were able to rout
hundreds of Rebels from a network of caves underneath the surface of the
planet Hoth. "We're not sure we got them all," says a Vader spokesman.
"There are a lot of places to hide in those caves. But we've delivered
powerful blow to the terrorist's infrastructure, that's for sure. Today,
the Empire has struck back."

Initial reports are unclear as to the fate of Luke Skywalker, a hero
among the Rebels, who is rumored to have delivered the fatal blow to the
Death Star. Skywalker, a former desert-dweller from the planet
Tattooine, became a part of the Rebellion after family members were
killed. Skywalker was trained by a militant wing of the Rebels, known as
"Jedi Knights." Fanatical in their religious beliefs, the Jedi Knights
claim to derive their power from the mystical "Force."

It's believed that Skywalker was specifically trained by infamous
terrorist O bin Wankanobi. Wankanobi, occasionally called "Ben" and
easily recognized by his bearded visage and long, flowing robes,
achieved near-martyr status among the Rebels after his death last year
during a spy mission. His more fervent followers believe that Wankanobi
lives on within them today, some even claiming to hear his voice during
times of duress.

The attack on the Death Star came shortly after the Empire's destruction
of Alderstaan, a planet whose government was known to harbor terrorists.
Responding to criticism over the total annihilation of the planet, Vader
stated, "There is no middle ground in the War on Terror. Those who
harbor terrorists are terrorists themselves. Alderaan was issued ample
warning. The fight for continuing Freedom is often burdened by terrible
cost."

The cost of this war can still be seen today in the continuing efforts
to build a coalition government on Tattooine. Longstanding animosities
among the planets various ethnic groups, including the Jawas, Tusken
Raiders and scattered human settlers, have been an impediment to the
peace process. The Empire continues to maintain a small peace keeping
force until a provisional government is finally in place.

Much of the difficulty in fighting the Rebel forces stems from their
lack of a central organizing structure. "They don't play by the
traditional rules of war," complained one spokesman. "They come in all
shapes and sizes, united only by their single-minded desire to destroy
the Empire before it destroys them."

The Emperor closed his comments today by stating that "the cowardly
attack on the Death Star left a deep scar on the Empire. However, we
will not stop fighting until every last evildoer has been brought to
justice." He paused for several moments, wiping away a tear and then
added with determination, "We will never forget."

"I wish we could all just get along," said one of the mourners. "But
it's hard to offer an olive branch to a cult of religious fanatics whose
main tool is violence and who insist on calling us the Dark Side."
_______________________________________________
email: martin at easyweb.co.uk             PGP ID:	0xA835CCCB
	martin at members.evolt.org      snailmail:	30 Shandon Place
   tel:	+44 (0)774 063 9985				Edinburgh,
   url:	http://www.easyweb.co.uk			Scotland




More information about the thechat mailing list