[thechat] marital crisis update.

Erika Meyer emeyer at lclark.edu
Fri Jul 5 18:09:00 CDT 2002


hey Joe ... what you doing with that...

oh wait I mean....

I went thru a punk rock relationship that ended about a month ago.
By "punk rock relationship" I mean it was: short, fast, loud, and intense.

I was dating a cross between Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love... I kid you not.
It was a psycho roller-coaster, and when it ended, my world fell apart.

And I agree 100% these are opportunities for us to work on our own
crap and become better people.

A few weeks ago I was going thru anxiety attacks so strong I was
shaking in my boots... breathing thru them...

I managed to find a good therapist who is treating me for a song.
I'm so lucky for that.

Therapy and self-help can be good if you get into the right group or
find the right person.  But if they are bad, it's almost worse than
nothing.

Issues with parental relationships are going to affect your love relationships.

I got a lot out of al anon back in the day.  That codependency thing
is a nasty trap... you think you're just being nice but actually you
are giving away the farm... and resenting them when they don't
appreciate it... etc etc

boundaries.. oh yes.

Right on...

One thing: 40 lbs in 8 weeks sounds awfully fast...

I was anorexic as a teen... dropped 30 lbs in 3 months... down to 90lbs.
It was not healthy for me.  So just take care to eat good food and
exercise & make sure you are not loosing too much.

One thing you've done is taken personal responsibility for your stuff.
Many people never get there.   Those who are too proud to seek help
only hurt themselves.

Erika


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