[thechat] marital crisis update.

Lachlan Cannon luminosity at members.evolt.org
Thu Jul 18 05:46:00 CDT 2002


.jeff wrote:

> i could go on and on and on with more examples,
 > each slightly different.  but, there's a common
 > theme in them all.  at a glance, no matter how
 > insignificant a person's involvement in the success
 > or failure of a relationship, upon further study you
 > *will* find that the responsibility falls pretty evenly.

Sure, but most of those examples are people who have a
problem of some kind or other, which they need help with.
Suppose a couple falls apart, because one member is bored
by the other. the other does exactly what they did when they
first got together, but now being that same person bores the
other one, so they go off with someone else. Is that the fault
of the person for being boring, even if that's just how the
person is and always was?

>><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><
>>I mean there's not even a reason why it's necessarily
>>the fault of the people in the relationship...
>><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><
>
>
> oh sure, if you believe that people don't have
 > to get responsible for themselves then you could
 > say their upbringing, family life, social atmosphere,
 > culture, etc. made them the people they are and the
 > failure is simply a symptom of their environment.

Not what I was trying to say. Hmm...take for example someone
who goes out partying. Their partner misses out on the party,
because they had to stay in late at work. Now suppose that at
the party, the person leaves their drink alone while they go to
the toilet, and someone comes along and spikes the drink, and
then takes advantage of that person.

Blah blah blah. Work partner finds out, and feels betrayed.
Says they feel they can't trust the other anymore, and break things
off. Whose fault would you say the breakup was?

--
Lach
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