[thechat] Fwd: FC: FBI bumbling ruins chance for terrorist"cyber-sting"

[Bob Davis]

At 5:03 PM -0500 7/31/02, Luther, Ron wrote:
>Hi Bob,
>
>
>It wasn't 'cyber' related, but I had a friend apply for a job with the FBI.
>(A teen-age kid looking for a summer job in the mailroom or something on
>that kind of level - I don't think he had graduated high school yet ...
>so it's not like he was going to get some kind of high security level job.)
>
>Without telling me, he put me down as a reference.

Never a good idea...


>
>The Bureau sent someone to my home to talk to me.  They sent the most
>'humor-free' individual I have ever met.  {Maybe running background checks
>on teenagers does that to you - I dunno.}

It's got to be the most boring job there is. Think about it, you get
back to the office with cat fur on your "shiny FBI shoes" and see the
other guys with their body armor and MP-5's talking shit about how
they took out the bank robbing pornographers with the kidnapped 12
year old illegal immigrant kids in the trunk of their stolen get-away
car. Your life sucks. You talked to an old woman who forced tea and
biscuits down your throat while explaining how her dear niece is
wonderful at petit-point and has the most delightful laugh....and
she's single...what about you young man, are you married?

Yeah, the other guys know. They've been there...but you still feel bad.


>I think he was offended when I asked what he wanted instead of immediately
>inviting him in once he identified himself as "FBI".

Well, I can see that.


>I think I lost a few more brownie points because the coffee table separating
>us was covered with left wing books I was doing some research with.  [I
>remember one of them being titled something like "The ABCs of Communism".
>I don't recall what the other two were.]  I could tell this wasn't going
>to go well.

I'm trying to find the article about the guy who invited the
Jehovah's Witnesses in to talk when they knocked on his door one
saturday in the am, sat them down in front of a coffee table covered
in porn, turned on the TV and VCR ("Ass Master IV - The Quickening"),
left the room only to return with a tumbler filled with ice and gin.

They just got up and walked away.

Or was that a story I heard on this list?

>I still have scars on my tongue from him asking "Have you ever known [x] to
>have been involved in anti-American activities?"  I really had to bite hard
>to keep from saying "You mean since we burned the flag down at the American
>Legion hall last night? Naw. Nothing so far today."

That's funny. I've never talked to the FBI in that capacity - I like
to think I'd be honest but true to whomever it was that put me down.

bob

--

bob davis
bob at bobdavis.org
http://www.bobdavis.org/