[thechat] I didn't get the job

Martin Burns martin at easyweb.co.uk
Tue Oct 15 08:38:01 CDT 2002

On Tue, 15 Oct 2002, William Anderson wrote:

> Martin Paul Burns wrote:
> >
> > I live in Edinburgh, so obviously I'm biased.
> Glasgow's blatantly better though :)

Hm. Only a tickly on the trollometer. Time to crank it up.

They've changed the slogan? Used to be 'smiles better', presumably cos the
ASA wouldn't let them get away with anything stronger.

Of course Glasgow is way better for:
* Bigots (left and right footing)
* Rain
* Soapdodging schemies ("In yer Glasgow slums/you rake in the bucket for
something to eat/you find a dead rat and you think it's a treat/in yer
Glasgow slums")
* Inedible fried food (combine with the above to get an alternative to the
usual definition of 'hunting')
* Violent alcoholics
* Rain
* Casual violence described as 'character'
* Removal of architecture to build motorways
* Resultantinability to walk further than 5 feet, or up a hill
* Resultant Pollution
* Rain (Acid usually)
* Whining nostalgia for industries which didn't deserve to survive
* Teethrotting soft drink consumption
* Gut and teethrotting alcoholic consumption in the same bottle (mmmm
Buckfast - Glasgow's vintage)
* Litter
* Posing assholes in orange tans and knock-off Armani (oh, and razor
blades) on the high street on a Saturday
* Rain
* Chips on the shoulder about not being the capital
* Pretentious wankers in the West End called AlasDaiiiir, Finlay and
Farquhar (no, you didn't mispronounce it, the first vowel *is* a U)
* Gangsters
* Did I mention rain?

On the other hand, you *can* get a good curry (and you'd need to
considering the alternative native cuisine) and it's still way better than
Cumbernauld [Trollometer bends needle]

Thread hijack!


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