[thechat] Sneaky spam

[Madhu Menon]

It's amazing what tricks spammers will use to get your attention. Take a
look at this one that came into my inbox. It looks like a legitimate email,
but of course is nothing of the kind...

But it sure got me laughing for a long time. ;)

(warning: contains explicit language)

Madhu


>X-Sender: vinaymalhotra at sify.com
>From: Vinay Malhotra <vinaymalhotra at sify.com>
>To: "manishmalhotra0 at rediffmail.com" <vinaymalhotra at sify.com>
>Date: Wed, 23 Oct 2002 21:01:55 +0550
>Subject: Re.:
>
>Hi Manish,
>I am sorry, I did not communicated with you as I should in last 6 months.
>I went
>through a trauma, which I would like to share with you.
>
>To explain you what I went through, let us go back to time you came here
>on my
>marriage. She indeed is very nice and warm person. however during honeymoon,
>after sex I observed that Manjeet, was used to get restless which could be
>sensed
>on her face. We both felt that it might be because of anxiety as well as our
>inexperience. About 5 months went off in just guessing and wondering about
>reason
>for dissatisfaction. Our Relations were stressed but survived due to our
>care.
>We thought that this could be due to inadequete privacy, so we decided to
>wait
>till they go to USA.
>
>When mom and papa left, We both were happy for them as well as for us. For
>them
>because they are going to better world, for us that we will get quality time
>to improve our sex life. I forgot to mention that in initial 6 month, we had
>sex not more than once a month. That too because of my initiative.
>
>First few days we tried to explore new ways to enjoy each other, but after
>every
>intercourse, Manjeet will complaint about accumulation in pubic area and mild
>pain through out the day. Then we consulted doctors, you know this world
>is so
>dominated by man that we seldom think about male incompetencies. Doctors
>suggested
>few exercise to Manjeet but of no use. Our relations kept on becoming bitter,
>we both started disliking sexual intercourse. For quite some times we did not
>realized the reason.
>
>Now comes the real part, the real solution, which I must say every men should
>give a serious thought. Manjeet was so frustrated that she asked me for
>divorce.
>I also felt that there is nothing left in our relation. Above all mom and dad
>were not here, so I was at least saved from replying them and justifying
>them.
>We both decided to divorce and went to lawyer, who was lady. We narrated our
>story, she said " I don't think you require divorce, you require counseling"
>she also said that she ants to talk to me in private. Manjeet agreed. In a
>closed
>door, she first made me relaxed and developed intimacy. I felt comfortable
>talking
>to her. Then she started to ask me very personal question, which did
>embarrassed
>me for a while. She asked me few questions like:
>
>What is my penis size, when erected? I said four and a half inch. (she
>said six
>inch is minimum required to satisfy women, but longer the better)
>What is the diameter (girth) of my penis? answer was one inch. (She said
>Ideally
>it should be one and a quarter inch, thicker satisfy women intensely)
>How long do I stay on? 8-10 minutes was my answer. (She said no, it should be
>minimum 20 minutes not including foreplay)
>How long do I indulge in foreplay? I said if I give too long to foreplay,
>I ejaculate
>within 5 minutes, so usually I don't foreplay more than 3-4 minutes, that is
>limited to breast kissing and little bit of fondling and caressing.
>Then she explained me anatomy and behavior of female sexuality. Usually women
>takes 35 to 40 minutes to reach to zenith and after which she reach to
>climax.
>For multi orgasmic women, another climax comes after about another 6-7
>minutes
>and so on. So it is very crucial for man to last at least for 30 minutes,
>excluding
>foreplay and she also said that penis size and thickness does matter for
>women
>satisfaction. She called Manjeet and asked us to give 6-8 weeks time to each
>other before we separate. Manjeet went to "Maika" as suggested by her.
>
>She suggested me address of web site i.e. http://www.male-manual.com asked me
>to buy penis enlargement manual and follow it religiously for 8 weeks.
>
>I was so frustrated that though I did not believed in solution, I thought
>there
>is no harm in trying it if it could save our relation and marriage.
>
>I followed all the instructions given in manual and you must be surprised
>that
>within 7 weeks, my penis size increased to about six and a half inch and
>thickness
>(girth) by about half inch. Means now it was inch and a half.
>
>On eight week as suggested by lawyer, me and Manjeet met and went out to a
>hill
>station so that we both are away from all tension. We both were happy meeting
>each other yet there was some sort of apprehension. We checked into the
>hotel,
>went out for a stroll, had a dinner, one glass of wine and went to room.
>Suddenly
>Manjeet gripped me and we both were necked within few minutes. What I saw was
>a different shine in her eyes, when she looked at my penis. We both soon were
>fully aroused and we made it for about 40 minutes. You know in 16 months
>of our
>merriege, first time after making love, Manjeet slept like a log and did not
>awoke for couple of hours. I also slept deep. Morning when we woke up, it was
>different mood. We had great intercourse yet again, in less than 12 hours.
>Noon
>also we had it once. In 3 night stay, we had it for 11 times and then we did
>not go out of room. Our relation was different. We enjoyed each other,
>Manjeet
>did not complaint about pain like accumulation. All differences vanished,
>I don't
>know where.
>
>I believe that this information will be useful to you as I do not want you to
>go through what I went through and I will also suggest you to pass on this
>information
>to your friends who are married or supposed to get married soon. For
>manual visit
>http://www.male-manual.com it cost peanuts.
>
>Please give my regards to mom and papa and also ensure that you make some
>Bahana
>so that they feel its OK. I am doing better in my job too.
>
>Love
>Vinay