[thechat] The youth today... [WAS: santa question - quickie]

[Erika Meyer]

Chris Marsh wrote:
>The delinquent youth I was thinking of was that of the UK. There
>seems to be no method of punishment for minors in Britain, which
>really leaves it up to the individual to monitor their own actions.

I think individuals can monitor their own actions if they are
nurtured properly.  I think the problem many have is that it is
difficult to provide a good nurturing environment in an atmosphere of
poverty and stress.  Plus, children learn by example.

Recently my daughter's afternoon caregiver, (a relative), began to
inflict corporal punishment against my wishes.  There was an instant
and marked change in my daughter's demeanor as soon as it happened...
suddenly I'm hearing "I hate my life and I want to die" -- from a 7
year old.  And the usual "mommy mommy I wish you could be a teacher
at my school, I wish you had a different job so you could spend time
with me, etc."  Her anger is apparent and increasing.

Corporal punishment will not help with these problems.

I think childern differ in temperment and coroporal punishment can
really have a negative effect on a sensitive child who is just being
a child.

Whether "most minors are delinquent by nature" would seem to depend
on your definition of delinquency.  Minors are unsocialized but
socialization can and does happen in other ways than via punishment.
Many children sincerely want to do the right thing, even if they
don't yet have the ability to manage behavior as adults do.

Again, throw it all out the door when you have parents/family who are
too stressed and or unable to give the child the time and attention
he/she needs.  That kid is going to have problems regardless.  They
may act out (delinquency) or act in (self-destructive activities) or
both.

Personally, I think that this (lack of time, attention, respect given
to needs of children and elders) is the real problem.  I see it in
rural areas where kids that join gangs are kids that lack family
connection.

Erika

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