dodgeball (was: [thechat] Jan 18 peace march)

[aardvark]

> From: Ben Dyer <ben_dyer at imaginuity.com>
>
> During the second volley, at some point when the coach was looking at
> the other side, slip to the edges of the gym where those who were
> "out" were supposed to be.  After a while, all us nerds just started
> lining up on the far right to make it look even less conspicuous.
> Then we'd all gather and talk about Star Trek: Next Generation.

aww, but there's no style in that method... i had a friend who'd run
up to the front line and raise his hands in surrender screaming
things in german... even after he'd get hit, he'd grab the leg of the
nearest oppponent and scream things like "apple pie" with a german
accent...

he was also a great person to hide behind when they unleashed their
entire volley on him... invariably we'd knock a chunk of the other
team off after that...

> I couldn't stand dodgeball.  They used red, rubber kickballs, too.
> Those things hurt like mad.  Failing that, they'd use soccer balls,
> and those hurt worse.  Thank God they never used basketballs...

no fair... we used kickballs after 5th grade... foam before that... i
always wanted something with more weight, less arcing and wind
resistence, see...

> Blech.  I hated gym.  I hated everything about gym.  I sucked at every
> sport I did (still do).  I threw like a girl and I knew it.  After a
> while, the P.E. coach started using us smart kids to grade his papers
> from his other classes (the coaches were all required to teach at
> least *one* real class).  Then I got out of P.E. entirely.  It was the
> perfect arrangement: he didn't want to grade his papers, I didn't want
> to be in P.E.

thing is, i hated gym, too... i only bothered to play dodgeball and
volleyball... everything else could suck a crumpet... for outdoor
football and softball, they took roll call in the locker room, and as
we trotted outside, i'd grab a branch from a tree on the path (since
removed) and swing up there... i'd stay until the girls' class came
out and play volleyball with them...

but i found a trick my sophomore year to make gym fun...

become a team captain... gym teachers hate it when the geeks are team
captains, so some bartering is required in advance... when team
captain, choose the kids *no one* picks... the fat kid in the corner,
the one with the strange odor, the two the with the spock ears,
etc... then have one rule when you go out to play -- lose...

but not by a little, by a lot...

in basketball, i'd hand the ball to the other team... or sometimes
i'd punt it toward the basket... one guy would run from the ball
screaming... in football, i'd hike the ball and everyone would run
for the sidelines while the QB ran it back for a safety... softball
was fun -- downward swings, throwing the ball to the outfield or out
of the field... hockey was fun, too... the goalie would have all
sorts of tricks for missing the puck...

the other team did nothing but whine...

and for the first time, the geeks in the gym class both *had fun* and
*got some exercise*... granted, it looked like the upper class twit
of the year contest, but it was a blast...

oh, wait, i liked archery... i could get the arrow through a crevice
in the backdrop and out the window....

oh the sound of hot asphalt receiving an arrow...

--
my latest book project:
  Web Graphics for Non-Designers
  http://amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1904151159/evoltorg02-20
  ISBN: 1904151159