[thechat] Mostly (was: Handling a knife like a pro) (was: Cooked carrots)

[Sabrina Dent, Apperception]

----- Original Message -----
From: "Erik Mattheis"
> Sabrina Dent, Apperception wrote:
> > people are
> > entitled to choose sexual expression
>
> > discussions of [...]
> > STDs
>
> I do completely see your side of everything though if it's directed
> toward young people who are just awaking sexually ... the fact that a
> kid might feel negative about buying or otherwise obtaining a condom
> can ruin an entire lifetime .... sometimes literally.
>
> And for people of all ages, here in the States, the National Institute
> of Health recently changed their wording regarding condoms in pamphlets
> pertaining to STDs ... something like from "although condoms are not a
> 100% safeguard against STDs they are the best thing next to abstinence"
> to "condoms have not been scientifically proven to be an effective
> defense against the transmission of STDs". I'm sure you've seen this in
> the news.

Which is why we need activists to tell kids that's bollocks? And why we need
to educate them that sexual readiness INCLUDES being ready to obtain safer
sex supplies? Hello?

> > Read the books touted
> > previously, really!
>
> I'm wondering what I'd gain by reading it: the only sex-related
> problems I perceive in myself are only having half the number of
> regular partners I would like (1)

Well, you won't find out what you have to gain until you read it. Duh. But
if you're interested in living examples of sex positive-ness, people have
just provided you with two excellent resources.

> and the fear of a girl licking my
> bum. But I think 5-10 minutes with a mirror and razor blade would cut
> my hang-ups in half.

If you're planning to participate in anal rimming, since you should have a
fairly wide piece of latex, ala a dental dam, or a big swatch of Saran Wrap
over your arse, this isn't an issue. See? Safer sex education in action.

> > "Sex Positive" is an embracing of sexuality with the approach that is
> > it
> > happy, healthy, and good for you.
>
> I believe that on an individual level, the vast majority of the human
> race has felt this way forever ... people that haven't probably have
> larger problems, like low self-esteem or Catholicism.

That's nice. It's also crap. I take it you're not answering Dear Abby
letters about sex on a daily basis or dealing with teenagers distraught
about their sexuality issues every hour, either. The fact that sex is not
like the movies is still a major news flash for most people. Guilt, shame
and confusion are as standard as the missionary position. See below to see
why poor self esteem (again, particularly in women) is so prevelent. You
might also want to read "Revivivng Ophelia" for a more in-depth look at this
issue.

> I don't have a TV, so don't watch any daytime TV, but my understanding
> is that such things are it's meat and potatoes.

Oh, yeah, dude. Porn for women is just so mainstream (not) and poly has been
mentioned/portrayed/sung about in mass media about, oh, 50 times at last
glance at the running list of such sightings. Plus, given the current trends
in pop culture, most presentations of sexuality info are totally hideous
stuff like Real Sex and print publications like Playboy and that ilk. I like
porn, I support porn, but those are bad models.

> > our media shows us that sex is only for
> > beautiful people,
>
> ???OMG WTF?!! LOL!! One of the most cliché Hollywood morals is "looks
> and preconceptions aren't / shouldn't be important in love" ... off the
> top of my head: Swept Away (Italian version at least, haven't seen the
> other) Harold and Maude, Pumpkin (GREAT movie), Chasing Amy, and every
> Woody Allen movie where someone loves him ...

There was no sex in Harold and Maude. There was love and a post-coital shot,
but not sheet rollage. I don't know when the last time you picked up a
women's magazine (or a men's magazine) might be, but trust me: people
portrayed as "sexy" by our mass media are *very much* of the "beautiful
people" type. That pressure is far more severe if you're a woman.

And Chasing Amy? Yeah. It doesn't matter what the story line is, Ben Affleck
and Joey Lauren Adams are hardly unattractive people. Have you just entirely
abandoned your critical thinking cap?

--Sabrina
--------------------
Prurient: http://www.satinslippers.com  (NSFW!)
Prudent: http://www.darlingbri.co.uk