[thechat] huge need to vent

Luther, Ron ron.luther at hp.com
Wed Aug 11 16:47:53 CDT 2004

Joel D Canfield yelled heck at the fates:

>>So, after my ex took everything else, she's trying to get her hands on
>>money she's paying me for my share of the house. I've got what I came 
>>into the marriage with; actually, significantly less.

Ouch!  Sorry to hear that man.  I know a little bit about that anger 
and frustration.  It can lessen with time, or at least recur less 
frequently to spin you up.  (Of course, when there are kids involved, 
some states will allow refiling for child support "adjustments" about 
every other year ... which lets you drag out and relive these kodak 
moments for decades! ... Trust me on this one - it's just "Peachy!")

>>Oh well. At least I'm rid of her. The peace I feel *most* of the time
>>and the smile on my Best Beloved's face when I get home from work
>>compensate for a whole lot of this crap.

Live well my friend. (Hey! It's not just for revenge anymore!)    ;-) 

Gotta focus on being happy and relaxed. (It's bad enough being old ... 
being old AND cranky just ain't gonna fly ... 'sides, clinical studies 
have shown that it has a negative effect on bass playing skills.)

Happiness is the game -- play to win!

>>It'd be nice to hear my kids' voices again, though. It's been 18 months,

That's a hard one.  I don't know what you do about it except try to 
fight it ... and that can be a long and expensive haul.  You'll need 
a lot of family support and commitment to help you down _that_ road. 

<side story>
(A friend of mine remarried. Her new husband had three small boys from 
his first marriage - and joint custody passing the kids back and forth 
spending time with him and with their mom.  The boy's mom (my friend's 
husband's ex-wife) remarried ... remarried a convicted child molester. 

[HELLO-O? ... Yup. Pretty sweet way to lower your stress levels, huh?] 

Anyway, they have spent _years_ in and out of court ... and an amount of 
money I'm sure they try very very hard never to think about ... trying to 
protect those boys.) Ya gotta do what ya gotta do!
</ side story>

Being in different states for the past few years I get to see my son about 
twice a year; a few weeks in the summer and a few weeks at the end of the 
year. (He's flying in tomorrow night for a 3 week stay before starting 
college.) I stress out pretty bad a few days before and after he comes in 
and again for a few days before and after he leaves. [Must be onna them 
'post-partum' depression thangs.]

So much crap goes through your head ... Did you do enough? Did you not do 
enough? Did you try to force too much "togetherness"? Are you walking on 
tiptoes around each other? What do you do if there is a 'problem'? ... it's 
not like you have any authority to enforce consequences. Blah, blah ...

Sometimes all you can do is pray for the best. (And even then sometimes 
Setekh bites your head off anyway.) 

I know that {"Sorry dad, I've got a car, an apartment, a job, a girlfriend, 
... I don't wanna come down to see you"} day is coming ... and that, uh, 
that's gonna leave a mark!

So anyway ... how's the 'little one' doing? ... (Bad old dad - he hasn't 
shared any new pictures!) What's the little pumpkin up to?


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