[thechat] cube farm report #1

ekm at seastorm.com ekm at seastorm.com
Tue Oct 28 16:06:14 CDT 2008

Observation:  there is something very psychologically weird about working
in a cube farm... cubes, when used in an organization to compartmentalize
workers, seem to create a powerful metaphor for the entire work

I write this report from captivity: my first experience in cubetopia.  I
have been here not two months... yet it feels much longer.  The walls of
the cube mimic the invisible walls around me.  When I try to save a
document to a shared folder, permission is denied.  When I surf offsite, a
notice pops up noting that I can expect to be spied upon.  I click "ok." 
I always click "ok."

Everyone goes to lunch at the same time.  Meetings are called with a
device called "Outlook" which is run by a smarmy device known as "Clippy."
Clippy embodies the very essence of the cube farm, micromanaging
everything in a persistently unhelpful way.  Do not try too hard, or
Outlook will crash.

I have learned to write documents with a program called "Word."  Actually,
I write everything as a text file and save as Word.  No one knows the
difference.  I've bribed Clippy to keep his mouth shut.

Everything in the cube farm is "putty" colored - the phones, the walls,
the computer, the clocks, -- and even the very air seems canned and

Strategically placed machines devour money and return inferior coffee. You
can select "whitener" in your coffee.  No one knows what "whitener" is.
But they know it is good for them.

Life is good in the cube farm.  Perfect.  Cubical.  You should come. 
Become one of us.  We have benefits.  Retirement.  Every need will be
taken care off.  You don't need to think. ever. again.

Over, and out.


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