[Theforum] Personal vs. Business

[A. Erickson]

It seems to me that a lot of people think that a disagreement is
*personal*.

Why?

I think it would be helpful as we move forward and try and work together
and make things happen that we can agree on what a personal attack is
vs. a disagreement over a business decision.

We need to try really hard to remove our egos from this process. The
closer you feel tied to a project or idea the more personal it may feel
*to you* when people disagree. However, that doesn't make their
disagreement a personal attack.

I also think we all need to be mature and state when we are deeply
involved with an idea. It shows maturity and forestight to be able to
say: "Hey, I'm really invested in this idea, please be gentle with your
disagreements."

Also, we can't afford to tiptoe around Dan. Dan is integrally involved
in the guts of this operation and until that changes, he is going to be
involved in *many* of these issues. For that reason, he gets a lot of
the brunt of disagreements and chaos that goes around here. However,
that's unavoidable.

I don't know what to do to make these issues not personal to Dan. If he
is personally invested then it makes it more difficult. However, asking
for an administrative task to be completed is not a personal request.
It's unfair to read it as such. It's harmful to the organization if
simple requests and administrative tasks cannot be debated without
someone feeling like they are *personally* being attacked.

Saying: "This implementation is not smart" is different than saying
"This person is not smart."

Can we agree to rules of fair play and trying not to get so *personally*
hurt when touch decisions have to be made?

- amanda

___________________________________
amanda at gawow.com + http://gawow.com