[thechat] Announcement

[Michele Wandrei]

Congratulations!  Children will definitely change your life.  My
2 incredibly "energetic" (that's a tactful way of calling them
wild) boys have increased my stress level beyond belief, but they
make life worth living.

In honor of the new parents, here's one of my favorite bits of
email humor.  You may not appreciate it today, but come back to
it when the little ones are 4 or 5 years old.  Number 7 has been
particularly insightful for us.
___________________________________________________
Michele Wandrei
inThree Design
www.inthree.com


For those who already have children past this age, this is
hilarious. For
those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX (poor
woman).

Things I've learned from my children (Honest and No Kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq
foot house 4
inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller
blades, they can ignite .

3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four
walls of a
20X20 foot room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using
the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
times before
you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a
ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toliet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's
already too
late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a
36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A
magnifying glass
can start a fire even on an overcast day.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a
four-year-old.


11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same
sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't
walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys
do not like
ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth
worms dizzy.
It will however make cats dizzy and cats throw up twice their
body weight
when dizzy.